"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"
Psalm 37:3-7
(emphasis mine)
Why are these such difficult topics to learn about? Since being back from England, I have wanted nothing more than to simply return. I assumed I would go back quickly, or at least have a set return date. How different this has panned out for me. I have found myself having to ask myself so many questions upon returning home. I have had to examine what I am called to in life, what trusting God with my life actually means, and what holds me back from letting God simply move and work in my life.
How often I find myself, and assume many others find themselves as well, saying we trust God, but in reality our hearts are far from that. I can say it all day long, but spending hours on the internet looking for jobs, and making plans that would simply get me to a place I long to be does not reveal a heart that trusts. It reveals a heart that assumes I have all the answers. It reveals a selfish and distrustful heart.
A heart that trusts, waits. It seeks God above all else, and delights in the Lord before delighting in self. How hard this is. It is much harder to simply sit back and trust God than to try and control our lives. But, there is joy, peace, righteousness, and contentment found when we let go of control and surrender our hearts to God. If only I/we could learn quickly that trusting God with our lives is so much sweeter and more beneficial than trying to control it.
It seems that all of life boils down to trusting God and allowing Him to bring forth our righteousness. God is more concerned with our hearts, souls and minds than anything else. When these aspects of our lives are surrendered fully to God, He acts. It is only when these areas are surrendered can we actually do what the Lord has willed for our lives. We end up acting selfishly and too quickly if not surrendered.
So, as I explore where I am headed, what I am called to do to best advance the Kingdom, I am learning to simply trust and surrender. It is the hardest thing for me to learn. By nature I want to control I want to understand and have all the answers, but am seeing that the more I delight in the Lord, the more I choose Him DAILY, the easier it is to let go of this control and begin to surrender fully to God.
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